Jumping through hoops

I sometimes feel a surge of anger, knowing she made me jump through hoops to prove I was a good boyfriend—only for her to be guilty of everything she accused me of. But anger isn’t the right word. It’s a kind of mental impotence, the realization that the person you loved most was playing you. They’d call it gaslighting now. And the worst part? Sometimes, I even doubted myself. That thought alone sends a metallic wave of cold fire through every nerve in my body.